Weekly Reflection

Here's to the end of a very emotional week! I still have some unsettled emotion regarding a particular situation with this relationship I think I'm in. I don't have the energy to really care about last week because I do realize that a man is going to be a man regardless of how much the woman bends for him. I have to be the woman that I want to be regardless of his behavior as well. I will make better decisions, stronger attempts at distancing myself emotionally. I will start with the morning phone call...either five minute catch up instead of 30 minute conversation or maybe no answer at all. I also have realized that I have a life that is not full of people and things, I am by no means a go out and mingle type of girl, but because I have no friends here in NC, I really stay at home and enjoy my kids. I have to realize that him and others have lives that may be fuller to a different extent. I don't want to bother him the question of why anymore. I don't want to be the girlfriend that stresses you out with every phone call. I am redefining my title of "girlfriend" and giving you free will to do whatever. Why you ask? Its simple really, I can't control you and letting you go is easier than trying to figure you out. I can do what I want and let you be free. I cannot guarantee that when you are ready I will be also, I was ready last year and early this year....will you come ready next year, I don't think I'll be waiting.

I love Sundays, I have always sat down and planned ahead for the next week, but this week is different because this week ahead is all an emotional change, and its a change that I am initiating. Amazing! I am also starting a new project with my sticks and string. I have two options, but will decide for sure come tomorrow evening. I'm thinking, new stitch pattern on a hat, or try a hand with lace on a shawl....decisions decisions. Well I'm looking forward again to a new week with a new attitude and hope and pray that everyone stays safe and sane.