Its gonna be cold tomorrow

I am in a love situation that hurts and even though I could make that call and walk away, I'd rather just pretend we drifted apart. So in line with the weather tomorrow, I will begin my journey into the cold unknown. I can't answer every call because you just don't understand how much it hurts to pretend. I won't respond to every text because you don't know how much I just want to tell you I love you. I won't lie and say I'm home if I want to go out because you should know that I can make a life without you. You will not be able to please me verbally anymore because I don't need a facade of intimacy I need the real thing. I won't allow you talk to me about our future together because we can't have one until you clear up your past. I can't allow my kids to look for your calls because you are not stable in our lives. I will not ask you for advice because I always listened to you and I just can't anymore. I will give you my friendship and my love, but my heart and soul is not for keeps anymore.

I used to say that I can't imagine someone else holding me at night, but, baby its cold outside tomorrow and I need some warmth. I would have normally held on to my memories, or created a vision of unending bliss, but my reality is not allowing me to drift on that cloud anymore. I am forcing my eyes to open and see the story for what it is. We are great together, but, in the here and now of it all....you are not good for me. I am stifled by pretending to not mind the way things are. I am limited in my speech because you are not able to express yourself as freely as I do. I love to love and want to love you more. You love to be a wall, hiding behind a cloak, a facade a black veil of unemotional behavior. I am free as a bird when it comes to love, especially when its loving you. I cannot, however, let that feeling over power the fact that this chilly breeze I feel coming, I can be protected from, IF I push it back harder and make it stop before it comes inside. I'm sorry to be cold towards you though, because you will not understand the why...but maybe in the end of it all it will makes sense and we can try again in a different season.